Guest Post by Yael Magen, Esq.

When I was diagnosed with endometriosis it wasn’t the excruciating pain that bothered me or even my internal organs that were deteriorating, but rather, my biggest fear was that I would not get pregnant.

Yael Magen (back) with her mother and co-author Sheryl Mendlinger.

I was always a career-oriented person, was the first and youngest woman to be a mayoral candidate in my hometown, worked for government and non-profit organizations in international law and employment, and always wanted to be a mom.

When I was a teenager and started to get my period, I was a little different than my peers. My flow was very heavy and my periods lasted for five to eight days. I had severe cramps that sometimes debilitated me to the point I couldn’t go to ballet class or couldn’t stand up straight. I had no idea that something was wrong with me or that that was not the norm. My mom told me what her mom told her, once you have a baby it will get better; she didn’t know better either.

When I started having sexual intercourse it often included pain and burning sensations. My ObGyn at the time told me I probably didn’t love my boyfriend or wasn’t attracted to him. Imagine me, a young woman madly in love with my boyfriend, told by my doctor that my pain is in my head and caused by my lack of feelings for my partner.

Several years went by and I was on a birth control pill when my periods took a 180 turn. The period still lasted for more than six days, but the flow was extremely mild, the blood was very brown and often came out as clots, and it had what I call “the smell of death.” When I had my period it was as if dead blood was coming out of my body.

The worst thing with endometriosis is that often it takes decades to be diagnosed. I was walking around with this disease for more than fifteen years without even knowing it. In 2006 I started to have severe back pains to the point that I couldn’t even walk down the street for more than five minutes without stopping. I was vomiting constantly and lost so much weight that my body was like a skeleton, only skin and bones, where even a size zero fell off my body. As I wrote in my book “Schlopping: Developing Relationships, Self-Image and Memories” losing weight is sometimes bad and a sign of an illness, and gaining weight is sometimes good and a sign of health. I did not know that the endo and its scar tissue that was left in my body was harming many internal organs including my left kidney, which was blocked by the tissue and started to diminish in its functionality, to the point that I almost lost my kidney.

Finally, in October 2006, I was diagnosed and went in for a routine laparoscopy to have the endometriosis lesions and scar tissue removed from my body. However, my condition was so severe that it was diagnosed as stage four endometriosis, and was the worst case a specialist in Boston had ever seen. Thus, the surgeon could not go through my belly button as is done in a laparoscopy procedure, but rather he needed to perform full abdominal surgery. When I awoke from the surgery I was told for the first time that I had fertility problems and that getting pregnant would be difficult or even impossible.

The endometriosis caused severe damage to my kidney, bladder and ureter, and as a result for the next nine months I lived with tubes inside and outside my body and underwent several medical procedures and surgeries. The following couple of years, coping with the illness as well as trying to get pregnant, were emotionally and physically draining. I hated my painful periods because it meant I was getting sicker and I hated my periods even more because it meant I wasn’t pregnant.

My husband and I worked very hard to get pregnant and every resource, wish or prayer was consumed with achieving pregnancy. If I saw a falling star that was my wish; if I lit candles on a Friday night that was my prayer; when I blew out my birthday candles I begged for a baby. And at the end of 2008 I was the luckiest woman in the world when against all odds I got pregnant. I loved being pregnant and loved gaining weight as every pound was a sign of a healthy baby and a healthy body. The doctors say that pregnancy is good for endometriosis as one does not get her period. My pregnancy was so good for me that it also ripped apart much of the scar tissue that was in my body. I remember vividly, as my belly was getting bigger, having this feeling of something breaking and tearing in my back. My doctor told me that as the uterus expands the scar tissue rips. For me, pregnancy offered a respite from my symptoms.

The biggest problem with endo, is that it is a chronic disease. And so after pregnancy and breastfeeding once my period started again the endo came back: the back pains, the enormous cramps, the kidney infections and the smell of death. All I could do was deal with it the best I could. After all the suffering I had due to endometriosis, in 2011 we were blessed again with a healthy baby girl.

In June 2015, I attended the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research (SMCR) conference in Boston and raised my hand when the presenter asked who was on Day Five of their menstrual cycle. If one can believe it, that was my last period to date as approximately ten days later I got pregnant again. I guess attending that conference helped me conceive one more time and helped me ease once again my menstrual sickness. On Feb. 29. 2016, literally as I was writing this blog post, we were blessed again with our second baby girl, a leap-year baby, and became a family of five.

Today, in March 2016, I feel great, as I just gave birth less than a month ago and I am breastfeeding. No back pains, no periods, no cramps. But I know that in a few months when my period comes back I will need to go face to face again with the endometriosis. However, I cannot complain, I am one of the lucky ones. I have endometriosis stage four, was the worst case my doctor has ever seen, and yet I gave birth to three healthy, beautiful, smart babies.

Yael Magen, Esq., is a lawyer, public speaker, entrepreneur, writer, and mother of three young children. She co-authored, with her mother Sheryl Mendlinger, “Schlopping (schlep+love+shopping): Developing Relationships, Self-Image and Memories” a book about finding answers to life’s challenges through schlepping with a loved one while shopping. She currently focuses on her general law practice at Multigenerational Family Law and Taxes LP.