Running late again, I chose the first friend I saw and asked her to help me with my monthly blog post – what should I write about? I asked, not that I expected an answer.
…She leaned in and said: How about —
Those Times
Y’know those times when your period just takes over, becomes your whole life. When it starts all of a sudden, and you need to. get a tampon. from somewhere. or to just to get to a bathroom.
When you have to leave NOW.
But no one can notice.
No one can know.
Why do we have to pussyfoot around it?
I need a tampon.
Why am I apologizing for that?
I’m a woman. My body makes babies.
This is part of how it happens.
I don’t understand.
…Like those tampon ads where they show you how it’s small enough that no one will know.
We’re supposed to hide it.
Why?
O, I know – it’s because we’re supposed to be crazy when we’re on our periods, right?
…Also, just last night we were talking about mikvahs. It came up while talking with an Israeli friend, who’s pregnant; we got to talking about religion, and women, and gender roles.
…And actually, with another friend: we were talking about those times when you get your period, and use it to get past the early stage of the relationship, where you always have sex whenever you see each other.
You let him know that you have your period, and so: no sex tonight.
And then, you do something else together.
What if he’s into having sex after all? I asked.
Well, now that’s interesting. That’s new information.
[smile]
Test passed?
Maybe.
…Then we got to talking about boyfriends and periods and men actually saying that they don’t want to see tampons, or know about your period. Really?
Noted.
That’s information, too.
…And, how sex is wet and messy, and so how is menstrual blood outside the scope?
Right!
I know!
At this point, we were interrupted. There were three of us in the conversation by then, talking over each other.
One story led to another.
Stories, questions, sighing. And this sense that you’re not supposed to do any of this out loud. We were all intimate with that.
Who are we asking for permission?
For acceptance?
Why?
Talk among yourselves.
