Blog of the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research

Are We Stalled?

May 14th, 2012 by Chris Bobel

What is worse? A problem unnamed or a problem named and denied as our own?

In a recent class discussion, a (white) student shared that she while she was in high school (a racially diverse high school, she explained), “everybody got along and racism was not a problem.” But now, since taking my class, she sees there IS racism around her.

The denial of racism in our own lives. This denial, like so many others, is certainly not uncommon, especially among those protected by some measure of privilege. Sometimes our denial is less passive (I didn’t know better); sometimes it is more active (I sure do know, but the knowing is painful and expects me to DO SOMETHING and I rather not, thank you very much).

This reminds me of the responses I typically hear from my students when we discuss menstrual shame. When I show commercials like the one below, they tell me they are NOT ashamed of their periods. They talk openly about their cycles. This menstrual taboo I speak of—old school. When I probe and ask if they carry their menstrual products around in the open, then, they tell me, “No…that’s just not something you do.”

 

A student denies racism in her high school, but sees it OUT THERE. Young women deny menstrual shame while concealing their tampons. These contradictions vex me. What gives?

I think we are in the midst of what sociologist Arlie Hochshild calls a ‘stalled revolution.’

Hochschild uses this concept to explain how the feminist movement helped women pursue careers but stalled before it (and by it, I mean WE) succeeded in dramatically altering the gendered division of household labor. I think the concept applies here, too.

We see racism but NOT HERE, not involving ME.  We follow the rules of concealment even while we deny that we are embarrassed. I am not ashamed; other people are. We can name the problem, but we cannot, will not, claim it for ourselves. That’s where the engine cuts out. That’s where we are stalled.

We live in a culture where racism is DISCUSSED, at least. Look at the tremendous response to the murder of Travyon Martin for a recent example. And we ARE  talking more about periods and about our bodies; the very fact that Kotex launched its ’break the cycle’ campaign in 2010 is fair evidence that the menstrual discourse IS enlarging. But forgive me if I am not jumping up and down with glee. After all, there’s more talk about EVERYTHING now. We have more ways, more means, more access to express and connect, instantaneously.  Some might argue we talk too much; we tweet and post and text before we think. Sometimes talk is just…talk.

Are talking toward change? Or we just talking, talking, talking about other people’s racism, other people’s shame.

What will it take to re-start our engines and both name and CLAIM the problems for ourselves?

 

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Redbook Gets It Right

May 8th, 2012 by David Linton

Our recent Weekend Links post referred to a cheesy piece in Cosmopolitan magazine about stupid and offensive remarks that have been said to women by their ob/gyn.  At about the same time, Redbook‘s May 2012, issue had an article by another ob/gyn, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, titled, “Have a healthy, happy vagina,” which used a q & a format to address “the five issues women stress about most” concerning their “lady parts.”

Image from Redbook, May 2012, p. 183

  1. Will childbearing “ruin” my vagina?
  2. Is the smell okay?
  3. Do I look weird down there compared to other women?
  4. Why don’t I have vaginal orgasms?  Can I change that?
  5. Why does my vagina sometimes hurt when I have sex?

The responses to the questions were basically thoughtful and supportive, though a bit coy sometimes, with the talk about “lady parts.” In other words, they gave the kinds of information that’s found all the time in the posts on re:Cycling.

It also included four dumb/insensitive things doctors have said while their patient was “in the stirrups.”  The heading was, “Your OB/GYN said WHAT!?”

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Searching for Good News about Menopause

April 26th, 2012 by Heather Dillaway

Lately I’m fed up with the kinds of articles and news items that cross my desk (or computer screen) about perimenopause and menopause. So much of the news on this midlife transition seems negative. I hear about the new treatments for (unbearable) hot flashes or a new movie saying how terrible menopause is (remember my blog entry on Hot Flash Havoc? That movie is still getting a ton of press for better or worse). The most neutral reports seem to be about lifestyle changes (exercise, diet, quitting smoking, etc.) women can make to lessen “problematic” symptoms.

So, I’m starting to wonder: Is there any purely good news about menopause? Any news that will make women feel good about their midlife transitions?

To answer my own question, I typed “good news about menopause” into google, bing, and yahoo search engines. Readers of this blog should try it themselves. Type it in and see what you get.

When I typed this phrase into different search engines, right away the same sorts of news articles described above popped up. There is “good news” for menopause “sufferers” who want to try out new medical treatments for menopausal symptoms (you too can lessen your hot flashes!), “good news” that menopausal women can reverse aging (read: aging is bad!), “good news” that perimenopausal women can change their diet, “good news” that women can take supplements that will make sex better after menopause, etc. In my opinion, most of these articles have a negative undertone – that menopause is something to be suffered and endured and disliked overall. While these articles might be offering solutions to make life better, the underlying message is still that this life stage sucks for women. There were few exceptions to this, but the exceptions are worth mentioning. For instance a blog about the wisdom and freedom that women can find at menopause did pop up, as did another “menopause goddess” blog that gave a much more positive spin to this midlife transition. I personally wish I had seen more items like the latter two. For me, most of the “good news” that popped up is not so good.

I think about the perimenopausal or menopausal women who might be looking for “good news” about their life stage and I wonder what they might be looking for. If you are perimenopausal or menopausal and you’re reading this, what “good news” are you looking for? And how do you feel about the “good news” you’re getting?

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When Menstrual Talk Comes Home

April 16th, 2012 by Chris Bobel

For the last decade or so, like so many others who read and write for this blog, I have been researching, reading and writing about how we think, talk and act (out) about menstruation. My particular interest is the various interventions that some brave activists make to disrupt the dominant narrative of menstruation.

But this post isn’t about my work or even the work of others. Not exactly.

This post is about my daughters and what sometimes happens when my work comes home.

In 2006, when my oldest daughter Gracie was 13, we had one of many Mom-initiated short talks about her approaching menarche in the (of course) car. Posing as a super nonchalant mom, I casually asked:

ME: So what do you think your period will be like?

HER: I will hate it.

[GULP...I was grateful she could not see her feminist mother’s face completely cave in]

ME: Why do you think so?

HER:  All my friends hate theirs.

Later that year, I discovered her first period had arrived when I found a pair of her stained panties semi-hidden under her bureau in her bedroom. That evening, she agreed—none-too-cheerfully—to a dinner at a local Mexican restaurant, but we were not permitted to discuss “the event.” The next day, I set the kitchen table with candles, tea and her favorite dessert—just for the two of us—and I presented her with a lovely bag to store her menstrual supplies (that I am pretty sure she never used).

Getting her ears pierced

Photo by Aaron Conaway // CC 2.0

We had agreed, years before, that when she began menstruating, she would get her ears pierced. So we went to Claire’s and did the deed, but again, no fanfare—just a mom taking her teen daughter to get her ears pierced.

From that point forward, we rarely talked about her menstrual experiences, though I tried and failed several times.  For example, I suggested she try cloth pads (and why), but she was not the least bit interested.

I did notice, however, that she did not wrap her discarded pads in yards of toilet paper before putting them in the trash, and assuming she was following my own practice of refusing to ‘protect’ others from my menstruation, I privately registered a small but ambivalent victory. I worried: would this practice of  ‘failing to appropriately’ conceal her menstruation cause her embarrassment when she lived with others?

When my book on menstrual politics came out Gracie  was 16. She and 4 of her friends, all dressed in red dresses, circulated trays of  menstrually-themed (read: red) appetizers at my book party. The party favors, the decorations, and the conversation were all highly MENSTRUAL, and I heard no titters, detected no blushing between Gracie and her pals.

So did Gracie HATE her period, after all? Maybe not, but she, the child of a feminist committed to challenging the dominant cultural narrative of menstruation, became a girl, who, at best, managed her period. And I wanted better for her.

Today, my second daughter, Zoe, is 8.  She is 9 years younger than her older sister.

Since she could talk, she has called attention to my period. When she glimpses me changing my pad on the toilet  (yes, we have an open door policy), she typically remarks:

“You are having your period, Mama.”

“Yes, Honey, I am.“

She speaks as if her first period might be any day. It could be, but I doubt it. Her trajectory toward puberty seems to be moving at a pretty average clip.

Top five reasons not to talk about the menstrual cycle

April 12th, 2012 by Alexandra Jacoby
hand-mirrors and notebooks this morning

hand-mirrors & notebooks this morning

In last month’s blog post, I was thinking through why we weren’t supposed to talk about our bodies, and by the end of the post, it did seem to me that talking about our body-lives was a normal, sensible, useful, appropriate —just a big yes— thing to do.

And, then it got quiet.

Not just you.

I got quiet.

 

…here’s why —

  1. I should know this already! — my body, right? — how it works. Recently, a friend asked me [politely] how come we have a Society for Menstrual Cycle Research? Don’t we already understand how it works?
  2. Too personal — not everything in my life is public material [even if we’re friends].
  3. You’ll use it against me — you’ll stop listening when you don’t like what I have to say and chalk it up to that time of the month, or my being on the rag — rather than talking through when we disagree, or when my opinions are strong.
  4. It reminds everyone that I’m that other [messy] body type. And, I just want to be normal.
  5. Too busy — I have projects in the works, people waiting, emails to reply to, and what I’d really like is a vacation! Why do I need to be talking about this, too? I mean if everything’s working ok, what is there to discuss?

I just re-read last month’s post. When I wrote it, I thought I was writing it for you.

Turns out, I wrote it for myself.

I am uncomfortable in this conversation. Not always, and not always for the same reasons.

And, less so, having told you that…

What about you?


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Shit I Say

April 10th, 2012 by David Linton

Guest Post by Alexandra Epstein

A series of videos on YouTube have taken stereotypes to a whole new level.  Not only is ‘Shit Girls Say’ sexist, but it has created an empire of homemade ‘Shit (insert proper noun here) Say’ videos stereotyping hundreds of categories. To name just a few, “hung over girls,” “Asian moms,” “boyfriends,” “hot girls,” “fat girls,” “single girls,” and of course we cant forget about “girls who are on their periods.”

In this two-minute video, this girl seems to suffer from every social construction created pertaining to menstruation. From her constant longing for chocolate, to her feeling as if she is dying, to her mood swings, this girl over exaggerates all of the symptoms she claims to have.

The point of this video is to get a laugh, I know. So why be so harsh? It’s funny, right? The typical menstruating female is supposed to watch this and say “oh my God, I do that too! Haha!” However, not all women experience menstruation in the same ways. This generalization of how women act while they are on their periods is only reinforcing the stereotypes that men gain their information from and that so many women are trying to fight every day.

I have a proposition for someone. I want to see a new “Shit Girls Say on Their Periods” video. Only I want this video to portray a woman who embraces menstruation. I want to see a woman feeling extra creative, or extra in touch with herself, or even extra sexual. Why does this video have over a million hits? As a society we need to start changing the way people think about menstruation.

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Fog Warning Ahead

March 29th, 2012 by Heather Dillaway

As I embark on my 40th year I look ahead to menopause. I guess there is a good chance I’m approaching some foggy years. Brain fog, that is.

In the past week a flurry of online news articles review new research findings on the “brain fog” that many perimenopausal women experience. The brain fog is more easily understood as a slight memory problem, if you take the time to read through the various news stories. A new study analyzed how 75 individual women, aged 40 to 60, rated their memory performance based on factors like how often they forgot details and how serious their forgetfulness was. Researchers also gathered information about the women’s overall health, mood and hormone levels, as well as other menopausal symptoms, and tried to figure out the extent to which this “brain fog” exists. According to news reports, about 41 percent of the women in the study reported having forgetfulness that was “serious,” and those who felt that their memory problems were serious were more likely to score poorly on tests of working memory and attention. Some women who rated their memory problems as serious also reported some depression and other symptoms like hot flashes and sleeping problems. Other researchers suggest that the memory problems women experience are related to changing levels of estrogen in a woman’s body at menopause, but interestingly this new study did not find links to changing hormone levels.

The whole notion of “brain fog” is interesting, and I am suspicious of it as a strictly menopausal symptom. What about the brain fog we all experience when we’re tired or sick or just way too busy? Defining brain fog as a “menopausal” (really, perimenopausal) symptom further defines middle-aged women as somehow less than functional and set them up to be taken less seriously.

Putting this issue aside, though, what I actually find most interesting about all of the news coverage of this study is just how different each report of the study is. I am reminded that we should all be careful of which report we read about a study. For example, the first article I read on this study was placed in the Los Angeles Times and focused on the possible connections between menopausal brain fog, depression, and dementia. I was left feeling like the author of the article inferred that all menopausal women might have depression or dementia and that they should seek treatment. After reading this article I was angry because I felt as if I had been warned that midlife brain fog was the beginning of an inevitable decline for all women. Then I read a WedMD piece that simply described the study and did not concentrate on depression, dementia, or the need for treatment, and I wasn’t really sure what to make of the research study. Finally I read an article by a HealthDay reporter which quoted one of our own, SMCR member Nancy Wood, who reminds readers that “a number of other stressors in life, from work to taking care of children and parents, that pile up around the same time as menopause can hinder memory and ability to concentrate.” In addition, this article’s author states that “memory problems are not necessarily an early sign of dementia” and cognitive ability is regained after other perimenopausal symptoms subside. This third article concluded that the research study is helpful because findings suggest that brain fog is real – that women aren’t crazy – but that it is normal and not that detrimental to women’s long-term cognitive abilities.

Tell me again, why can’t we talk about body stuff?

March 15th, 2012 by Alexandra Jacoby

Tell me again, why can’t we talk about body stuff?

Your body is your home.

It’s your medium of self-expression — your voice spoken and written, your hands gesturing, making things, touching someone, legs walking toward, running away from, hips dancing, butt sitting, with arms folded — are you bored, annoyed, worried, satisfied?

Your body is your receiver and interpreter of the world around you and the people in it with you.

It’s integral to your life.

How can it be weird, embarrassing, inappropriate, [tactless?] to talk about your bodylife?

What happens inside your body is literally defining your experience of the outside world, and of yourself, and your possibilities.

You can’t feel your blood moving, hair growing, cells changing…

…Some things you can feel as they happen inside you, and with those experiences, you interact directly.

Our bodies aren’t sealed containers. They are living— we are living beings.

Nutrition, hydration, elimination of waste, sweating, breathing, menstruating — these things happen in our bodies and outside them.

We make choices about our behavior, buy supplies, clothing, fixtures — we are involved in the care and maintenance associated with these aspects of our body lives.

Why wouldn’t you talk about it?

Why wouldn’t you be interested in ways to improve your experience, or someone else’s?

Why would it be unusual or unacceptable to share your experience, to ask questions, to get advice? (out loud, anywhere) — like you would when it came to any other aspect of your life.

Why wouldn’t it be normal to be interested in the quality of your body-life?

What exactly is more important than that?

 

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Menstrual Bonding, Birth Control Brouhaha, and other Weekend Links

March 10th, 2012 by Laura Wershler

Research by SMCR members Tomi-Ann Roberts and Nicki Dunnavan garnered a lot of attention this week. Stories showed up at Live Science – Why Why Women Should Bring Their Periods ‘Out of the Closet, popular ladyblog Jezebel – Your Period Is a Time for Deep Lady-Bonding, and the Daily Mail - Women, start talking about it. Period! Roberts and Dunnavan surveyed 340 religious and non-religious women about their experiences and attitudes about menstruation. As the Daily Mail reported: ”U.S. researchers say women across the world need to be more positive about menstruation – and that means talking about it in public.”

Credit: MK Carroll

There’s been lots of public discussion about contraception, some might say too much!  The birth control/medical insurance coverage brouhaha hit a boiling point last week with Rush Limbaugh’s egregious comments about Sandra Fluke, and the heated debate rages still. Maureen J Andrade at OpenSalon writes that Birth Control Is Not a Women’s Issue: It’s a Human Right, while Asma T. Uddin and Ashley McGuire, blogging at the Washington Post, insist It’s about religious liberty, not birth control.  A group of crafters has come up with a  unique protest action: sending “interfering” male government members a knitted or crocheted uterus, vagina or cervix, while feministing.com has invited readers to Talk About Birth Control For REAL.

Back to women’s experience of menstruation,  Enith Morillo in Menses’ non-sense: Menstruation and the Muslim Woman’s “Red Tent” and Carolyn West in Menstruation – Celebration or Taboo?, explore different cultural menstrual traditions.

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Coming Off The Pill: A Mind Map Guide

March 7th, 2012 by Laura Wershler

Everybody can use a good map to help them get to where they’re going. Why not women heading to the land of non-hormonal contraception?

In my post on January 11, 2012 I asked if coming off the pill was a growing trend. I proposed to write a series of posts about the issues associated with the decision to stop using hormonal birth control.  For the purposes of this discussion assume that “coming off the pill” refers to quitting any method of hormonal contraception including the pill, patch, ring, shot, implant or Mirena intrauterine system.

As I was preparing a list of possible topics, I realized that one way to represent the complexity of issues involved in this decision is with a mind map: “a diagram used to represent words, ideas, tasks, or other items linked to and arranged around a central key word or idea.” It also occurred to me that readers could then add to this schematic, filling in important points based on personal or professional experience. So I got out my colored markers, did a little brainstorming and came up with Coming Off the Pill: Mind Map 1.0. I invite readers to comment, offering additions under the key headings I’ve noted and suggesting other categories that should be included.  Could this become a talking, planning or process guide for women considering the transition to non-hormonal birth control methods?

If you’ve thought about or been through the experience of quitting hormonal contraception, or if you’ve helped others through the experience, please contribute to the development of Coming Off The Pill: Mind Map 2.0 by posting your comments and suggestions. (I’ve already thought about other headings I could have included.) Besides providing me with a guide for writing future posts, what other ways can you imagine this mind map might be used?

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Talking Makes Menopause Better — Anyone Surprised?

March 1st, 2012 by Heather Dillaway

Adapted from a photo by Ed Yourdon // CC 2.0

The results are in: if you talk to your friends more during menopause, then your menopausal symptoms will bother you less. A study reported in The Telegraph last week suggests that talking either lessens women’s symptoms or helps them cope better (or both). In one study, women undergoing breast cancer treatments who also participated in “talking cure group therapy” as part of a study at Kings’ College in London “coped much better” with menopausal symptoms. Half of the women in this study were asked to participate in workshops with other women for six weeks. Women in the study were encouraged to talk about signs and symptoms of menopause, such as hot flashes (or hot “flushes” in the UK) and night sweats; they were taught techniques for eliminating “negative thoughts” and stress as well. Researchers touted this “talking cure group therapy” as giving “people the mental tools to tackle problems more positively” and led to “improvement” in symptoms. The author of the article suggests that non-medical approaches to symptom relief not only work but also could be growing in popularity among women who can’t or don’t want to use prescribed hormone therapies.

This is not unlike what I’ve found in my own studies of menopause and what plenty of other feminist scholars have found about women’s experiences of reproductive health more generally. Women who have support networks and/or who talk to other women about their experiences do indeed feel better about their own experiences and do gain some symptom relief (or, at the very least, coping strategies) just from talking to people. Indeed, even women with severe symptoms can get relief from sharing and talking. SMCR’s very own Jerilynn Prior and Christine Hitchcock have also done studies of how women will rate the severity of their hot flashes differently once they hear other women talk about theirs. Hearing and then knowing that people around you are (a) experiencing the same thing and then (b) might have suggestions for how you could navigate the experience always helps. This isn’t specific to women’s health – anyone experiencing any bodily event, symptom, or process will probably feel better if they talk to others. And of course we could go on from there – anyone experiencing anything confusing or hard or long in duration will probably benefit from talking to others. Anyone who has failed a math test or survived a hard relationship knows that.

The question I have is, isn’t it sad that this is a finding? Shouldn’t we all know that talking to others is better for our health and our sanity? I’m as much of a culprit as anyone else: I don’t talk to anyone anymore. I’m too busy. I barely see my kids or partner, let alone tell people how I feel about menstruation, whether I really feel “done” having kids, whether I think menopause is near, whether I feel reproductively healthy (or healthy in any aspect of my life for that regard), etc.  Maybe some of you are much better than me about talking to others, but it’s pretty bad when major research journals have to remind us in their published findings that talking is good for us.

Feminist scholars have already documented the medicalization of women’s reproductive health and the fact that women now typically consult doctors as the “experts” on reproductive health and, by default, no longer trust themselves or other women for advice. Thus, to some extent, talking is stifled by the medicalization of women’s health experiences. But, ironically, now medical journals are reporting that we should talk more? Seems like we’ve made it full circle and women should consult other women as the real “experts” again.

Am I losing friends when I post menstrual cycle stuff on my Facebook page?

February 16th, 2012 by Alexandra Jacoby

Am I losing friends when I post menstrual cycle stuff on my Facebook page?

I wonder about that.

Actually, I worry about that. But I post anyway.

When someone “likes” a cycle post, every cell in my body tingles with glee, and sighs a little relief.

The other day, a particularly good post (that I learned about on Liz’s Weekend Links, written by Yashar Ali, “If Men Had Periods, Women Would Know All About It”) prompted a friend of mine to initiate a pre-yoga class period talk; we talked about the article – her thoughts on it and her boyfriend’s, and then she told me that she’d started using the Diva Cup. She liked it better than tampons, and was so happy to use a product that was not adding waste to the environment, and  and  and …how come she didn’t already know about this!!

Yeah. I know.

I’ve thought about this many times —

  1. how we don’t talk to each other as much as we could about body stuff in general, and cycle stuff in particular, because we’re embarrassed or ashamed…and how life-changing just getting to ask a question can be
  2. how information isn’t easy to find or understand, and so most of us are just not body literate…and what a difference to our quality of life increasing our body literacy would bring us
  3. as would menstrual products that fit well into our lifestyles, are good for our bodies and the environment improve our lives…and yet most of us don’t know what our options are or expect to have a say in them

I was thinking about that, all that, again, thinking…and then I realized that it was time. Time to take a significant step forward into that space that I worry about, where you can see me and hear what I’m thinking about. Time for me to choose among these three menstrual cycle subjects:

  1. stuff about our bodies we don’t talk about
  2. body literacy
  3. products

and to commit to exploring and writing about one of them for the next year.

Ok. I’m in. (eek)

Only…

I can’t decide on which one (a lifelong condition – I find everything to be interesting!) — so I’m asking you to choose for me.

Vote in the comments, or email me if you want privacy. In addition to your vote, I’d love to hear what prompts your choice, if there is anything in particular you’d like to read about, to better understand it, or change it, improve it… I will keep that in mind as I go forward.

Let’s say I’ll start on Feb. 29th, and you have until then to vote. In March, you can read my first installment in this to-be-named series here at Re: cycling.

Totally posting this on my Facebook page!

 

 

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Readers should note that statements published in re: Cycling are those of individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the positions of the Society as a whole.