Blog of the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research

How come we even have a Society for Menstrual Cycle Research?

May 11th, 2012 by Alexandra Jacoby

“How come we even have a Society for Menstrual Cycle Research?

Don’t we already know how it all works?”

That’s what my friend said to me when I was telling him something about something that came up related to the Society.

Well, do we?

—Already know how it all works.

I’ll go first.

I totally don’t.

For example, I didn’t grasp that taking birth control pills meant not having a period—even though I had been taking them for over 20 years.

And, when I mentioned that to someone recently, she said, “What do you mean? I thought the pill regulated your period…” The woman who overheard us, leaned in, “What? I don’t understand. I thought it controlled when…

This isn’t the only time I’ve been in a conversation, where most of us didn’t know much about how our bodies work when it comes to the menstrual cycle. We just hadn’t given much consideration to the internal processes, nor to the effects of the things we do to manage our cycle experiences (personal and social) as they relate to our day-to-day well-being, sexuality, fertility, relationship with the environment…

It’s not unusual to be involved in things we don’t fully understand. What all the parts do, and how they interact, and why the whole thing is organized the way it is—none of that is self-evident. So if nothing prompted you to ask, or to go deeper, wider than the first level of understanding (I took birth control pills to avoid getting pregnant, didn’t think it any further), then you stopped where you stopped.

In addition to what we individual women don’t know we don’t know, collectively, we do not know all about how the menstrual cycle works.

New discoveries are being made all the time, and not everyone agrees about what they mean, and sometimes they undo what we thought we understood.

I don’t see how we could ever be done understanding how our bodies work in general. Our bodies are continually evolving, as are our lifestyles and our environment. And, specifically, when it comes to the menstrual cycle, I think my friend’s point of view is a typical one, maybe informed by the femcare aisle in the drug store, the condom rack nearby, and that the pill is (probably) available behind the pharmacist’s counter. That about covers it, right?

Must admit: I used to think so.

The mission of the Society is here: http://menstruationresearch.org/about-the-society/. Read it.

What do you think?

Do you feel sufficiently informed, equipped, able and healthy when it comes to every aspect of your life impacted by the workings of your menstrual cycle?

Are new research developments clear to you?

Do you know what to expect throughout your menstrual life stages? What’s deemed typical, within a range of normal, and what’s a sign of a health issue?

How much variation is there among us?

What tells you when to look further, and when to accept the current perspective—and where do you go to get that information and guidance?

Do you feel supported by what is available to you?

 

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Top five reasons not to talk about the menstrual cycle

April 12th, 2012 by Alexandra Jacoby
hand-mirrors and notebooks this morning

hand-mirrors & notebooks this morning

In last month’s blog post, I was thinking through why we weren’t supposed to talk about our bodies, and by the end of the post, it did seem to me that talking about our body-lives was a normal, sensible, useful, appropriate —just a big yes— thing to do.

And, then it got quiet.

Not just you.

I got quiet.

 

…here’s why —

  1. I should know this already! — my body, right? — how it works. Recently, a friend asked me [politely] how come we have a Society for Menstrual Cycle Research? Don’t we already understand how it works?
  2. Too personal — not everything in my life is public material [even if we’re friends].
  3. You’ll use it against me — you’ll stop listening when you don’t like what I have to say and chalk it up to that time of the month, or my being on the rag — rather than talking through when we disagree, or when my opinions are strong.
  4. It reminds everyone that I’m that other [messy] body type. And, I just want to be normal.
  5. Too busy — I have projects in the works, people waiting, emails to reply to, and what I’d really like is a vacation! Why do I need to be talking about this, too? I mean if everything’s working ok, what is there to discuss?

I just re-read last month’s post. When I wrote it, I thought I was writing it for you.

Turns out, I wrote it for myself.

I am uncomfortable in this conversation. Not always, and not always for the same reasons.

And, less so, having told you that…

What about you?


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Tell me again, why can’t we talk about body stuff?

March 15th, 2012 by Alexandra Jacoby

Tell me again, why can’t we talk about body stuff?

Your body is your home.

It’s your medium of self-expression — your voice spoken and written, your hands gesturing, making things, touching someone, legs walking toward, running away from, hips dancing, butt sitting, with arms folded — are you bored, annoyed, worried, satisfied?

Your body is your receiver and interpreter of the world around you and the people in it with you.

It’s integral to your life.

How can it be weird, embarrassing, inappropriate, [tactless?] to talk about your bodylife?

What happens inside your body is literally defining your experience of the outside world, and of yourself, and your possibilities.

You can’t feel your blood moving, hair growing, cells changing…

…Some things you can feel as they happen inside you, and with those experiences, you interact directly.

Our bodies aren’t sealed containers. They are living— we are living beings.

Nutrition, hydration, elimination of waste, sweating, breathing, menstruating — these things happen in our bodies and outside them.

We make choices about our behavior, buy supplies, clothing, fixtures — we are involved in the care and maintenance associated with these aspects of our body lives.

Why wouldn’t you talk about it?

Why wouldn’t you be interested in ways to improve your experience, or someone else’s?

Why would it be unusual or unacceptable to share your experience, to ask questions, to get advice? (out loud, anywhere) — like you would when it came to any other aspect of your life.

Why wouldn’t it be normal to be interested in the quality of your body-life?

What exactly is more important than that?

 

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Am I losing friends when I post menstrual cycle stuff on my Facebook page?

February 16th, 2012 by Alexandra Jacoby

Am I losing friends when I post menstrual cycle stuff on my Facebook page?

I wonder about that.

Actually, I worry about that. But I post anyway.

When someone “likes” a cycle post, every cell in my body tingles with glee, and sighs a little relief.

The other day, a particularly good post (that I learned about on Liz’s Weekend Links, written by Yashar Ali, “If Men Had Periods, Women Would Know All About It”) prompted a friend of mine to initiate a pre-yoga class period talk; we talked about the article – her thoughts on it and her boyfriend’s, and then she told me that she’d started using the Diva Cup. She liked it better than tampons, and was so happy to use a product that was not adding waste to the environment, and  and  and …how come she didn’t already know about this!!

Yeah. I know.

I’ve thought about this many times —

  1. how we don’t talk to each other as much as we could about body stuff in general, and cycle stuff in particular, because we’re embarrassed or ashamed…and how life-changing just getting to ask a question can be
  2. how information isn’t easy to find or understand, and so most of us are just not body literate…and what a difference to our quality of life increasing our body literacy would bring us
  3. as would menstrual products that fit well into our lifestyles, are good for our bodies and the environment improve our lives…and yet most of us don’t know what our options are or expect to have a say in them

I was thinking about that, all that, again, thinking…and then I realized that it was time. Time to take a significant step forward into that space that I worry about, where you can see me and hear what I’m thinking about. Time for me to choose among these three menstrual cycle subjects:

  1. stuff about our bodies we don’t talk about
  2. body literacy
  3. products

and to commit to exploring and writing about one of them for the next year.

Ok. I’m in. (eek)

Only…

I can’t decide on which one (a lifelong condition – I find everything to be interesting!) — so I’m asking you to choose for me.

Vote in the comments, or email me if you want privacy. In addition to your vote, I’d love to hear what prompts your choice, if there is anything in particular you’d like to read about, to better understand it, or change it, improve it… I will keep that in mind as I go forward.

Let’s say I’ll start on Feb. 29th, and you have until then to vote. In March, you can read my first installment in this to-be-named series here at Re: cycling.

Totally posting this on my Facebook page!

 

 

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Alongside Scientists Exploring Why Women Menstruate

January 19th, 2012 by Alexandra Jacoby

I read a blog post about a paper (that I have not read). The post is “Why do women menstruate?“ by PZ Myers, a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris, blogging at Pharyngula. The paper is “The evolution of menstruation: A new model for genetic assimilation: Explaining molecular origins of maternal responses to fetal invasiveness.” by Emera D, Romero R, Wagner G.

I’m not a scientist and don’t routinely have access to papers like these. Usually, by the time ideas raised  in them reach me, they would be solid-feeling facts, authoritative and done — not inspiring questions and wonderings that I can pursue in my way.

They might be about the products that were developed in response to, or as a side-effect of the research, or maybe I’d hear about newly discovered dangers to my health.

Rarely, do I get to be in on the “why.” To think about the story of it–my body–alongside the scientists when they are exploring what might be the origin of, or deciding factors in, why we are the way we are. As human bodies.

(So, thank you, internet. Thank you, bloggers).

"The anatomy of the human gravid uterus exhibited in figures" by William Hunter, Public domain.

This paper (as I understand it via the Pharyngula post) focuses on the conflicting interests of the relationship between a fetus and the woman carrying it: the fetus acting for its survival and development, and the woman as agent for her life, health, and the ability, should she want to, to carry more pregnancies to term.

The research notes a difference among mammals who spontaneously initiate the process of building up the uterine lining, regardless of whether there’s an implanted embryo (like us, with our monthly-ish menstrual cycles) and those who build up the lining only when triggered by an embryo, and asks why do we do this? Why not wait until you need it?

The answer seems to be because you won’t be ready if you wait. Maybe it’s like having guests over last-minute. You might have food and drink enough for all, but you might not. And, you might have stuff laying around that is more personal than you want guests to see. Or, maybe it’s all fine enough. Last-minute is frequently doable, but it’s better to be prepared. Prepared gives you options. Prepared gives you a chance to make it really comfortable and welcoming. Prepared sets you up to have the experience you wanted to have.

Women menstruate to be body-ready to handle the situation of pregnancy in the context of their whole lives, and their family’s whole life.

The monthly preparation of the uterine lining establishes optimal conditions for the relationship, the active give-and-take, between woman and fetus. And, while there are conflicting interests in this shared space of blood and nutrients, I see it as like any relationship between any things living — on a continuum of interaction between self-expressing creatures, cells or trees. There are intricate, elegant processes taking place to make it all happen. There is preparation and desire on both parts — blood, nutrients, and soil, air and water being exchanged and used up among us. There are points of contact, expected and understood, or surprising, or painful, or deadly. We’re in it together for better or worse. All of our relationships are active. Everything is interrelated and contingent and based on routines and cycles. On those we build, change, evolve…

I think only we are impatient about it — want it done  faster, with less work and no mess. The stuff of life is messy, though.

For me, when I understand the purpose of the mess, the effort required, the time and attention, become meaningful — I am able to recognize participants (rather than adversaries), to value the work we do and remember the vision and desire that infuse it all.

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What I told the girl in my life about menstruation

December 22nd, 2011 by Alexandra Jacoby

Last month I wrote about what I would tell the ten-year-old girl in my life about menstruation. This would be my first conversation about it with her.

I really appreciated the supportive responses that I received in the comments and offline! 
I was nervous about it. Your participation helped me to move forward.

Some of you asked me to tell you how it went…

I’m not going to.

Maybe it went well. Maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was a long talk, and kind of delicious to get that time with her, or maybe it ended abruptly. Maybe we hugged, suffered long silences, or laughed each other silly. Maybe I drew diagrams and she was the art director. Maybe she’s avoiding me now.

It doesn’t matter.

Because the point is – even more than to start talking – to keep talking. Not to look for done. Not to hope for done.

Just to say what you have to say; ask questions, reveal what matters to you, and stay.

Knowing that it’s not over. If it didn’t go “well”, that’s just a moment in time.

Remember why you wanted to have this talk – why you wanted her to have this information – why you wanted her to trust you with her questions and opinions.

If it went well, that’s just a moment in time. You don’t know what will happen next.

Her body-experiences, social experiences, ideas, needs and wants are going to change change change.

Done doesn’t exist in our world of human bodies.

Maybe I gave a really “good” talk and it still sucked for her. Maybe my girl’s poised reception of my seriously-delivered speech is not a possibility for either of you. Don’t worry about that.

I’m not telling you how it went because I don’t want our story leading to dos and don’ts, cues to take, and pitfalls to avoid. All that is useful, but I want to stay general for a moment, and, in the absence of specifics, to appreciate on the ongoing, evolving nature of

talking about, 
and being, 
a human body.

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what to tell the girl in my life about menstruation?

November 24th, 2011 by Alexandra Jacoby

Ever since I saw this uterus pillow, I have been thinking about what to tell the girl in my life about menstruation. She’s ten years old. This pillow is exactly something I would give her! It’s handmade, using strong colors of the kind I like, and about a subject most people don’t want to talk about. [I like to annoy her!] Also, it’s pretty.

I’ve had it since the summer, and I still haven’t given it to her — because I want to say something with it.

uterus pillow - ovulating

uterus pillow by Wendy Caesar.

But – what?

I have no idea what she knows or thinks or feels about her body in general, or about menstruation in particular.

Where do I start?

[translate that to several months of procrastination]

Telling myself that it was research and preparation for a good talk, I started asking people what they think I should say to a ten-year old girl in my life. Most asked me if it wasn’t too early to start this topic? I mean if she isn’t menstruating yet…

why bring it up?

Her school will know when to start the conversation. Or maybe leave it up to her, to whenever she asks you…

She’ll ask her mother then probably. Or maybe her mother has already started this conversation….

Wait! None of that matters —

I am totally ducking. I am afraid to get it wrong.

How will she know that conversations are not tests, or competitions, if I keep acting like there’s a right way to do this— like I need training, expertise or approval to talk to the girl in my life about something that I have experienced myself for several of her lifetimes?

I want her to know that it’s ok to not-know EVERYTHING about your body and what comes next, and that it’s ok to ask questions from a place of not-knowing.

Right. Decision made. I will not become an expert before talking with her.

I’ll make this about her and about me.

Here’s what I’ll do:

I’ll ask her what she’s heard so far:

  • What do you know about menstruation?
  • What did your mother tell you?
  • School?
  • Friends?
  • Female relatives?
  • Your father?

I’ll check in with her:

  • What does it feel like? – What people told you —
  • Is it: scary, embarrassing, no big deal, exciting…

I’ll tell her why I brought this up:

The menstrual cycle is not just about bleeding and whether you can get pregnant today — though, those two situations are reason enough to learn as much as you can about your cycle. You want to be prepared for, and satisfied with, both experiences.

uterus pillow - menstruating

the same uterus pillow, by Wendy Caesar.

The menstrual cycle is one of your body’s vital signs.

Its hormones and processes affect and interact with how you feel, how your bones grow, how your skin looks, your body temperature… From the inside out, of your body-your home, your cycle determines your quality of life in many ways.

Most of us know little about how our bodies work. And, unless we feel pain, have difficulty doing something we want to do, or are incapacitated, we don’t necessarily need to know any more than the little we know.

But — and this is why I bring it up — the more you do know about how it works, the more power you have over the quality of your body-life, which in turn feeds your mental-spiritual-emotional life. And back around again.

Readers should note that statements published in re: Cycling are those of individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the positions of the Society as a whole.